The future. Today was all about the future. And before you ask: “No, I have no idea if the Latin spelling in my title is correct or not. I’m guessing it is, but it’s been like 5 years since I’ve read Latin, so I’m a little rusty. And don’t give me that look. You know the look. The look that says You studied Latin for 6 years straight? Are you crazy? to which I can only reply that Yes, yes I am. And if it has taken you this long to realize that, I’m doin’ it wrong.”
Anyways, I went and visited a close friend of mine today, so we could discuss – you’ve guessed it – our futures. Both of us are nearing that graduation end-zone and where I’m completely convinced that “a job” is the next step, he’s still figuring things out. And that’s what we were doing today: trying to figure things out. Because let’s be honest: is there anything as daunting as making that first step into the rest of your life? I mean, I don’t know about you, but I’m damn right scared shitless! And I have two reasons for that:
1) It’s an extremely funky feeling of thinking about the rest of your life and only, basically, thinking about it in a job-related context. See, there’s no hot guy waiting for me at home. (Well, I guess there’s several hot guys waiting for me at home. But all of them seem to be quite attached to the paper they’re written on, so I haven’t had much luck with any of them just yet.) And my family and friends, while I love ’em like crazy, are not a reason for me to stay tied down anywhere. So in the end… When I think about the future, I just think about a job. “What kind of job? At what kind of company? In which country even, because I’m seriously not that attached to Belgium?” And my friends & family – we’re talking pre-Vlerick era here, not my Vlerick friends who are experiencing the same thing as I am – don’t really look at the future that way. For them it’s riddled with questions like “Where will we live? When can we move in together? Is this the guy I’ll marry? etc.” And I love my friends being so happy like that, but… I’m nowhere near that place in my life?! And that, ladies & gentlemen, is a funky piece of tiddlybits! (Pretty sure that’s not a word, but who cares. It’s a holiday and I’m a tad sleepy.)
2) I have three university degrees. One’s a bachelor and soon I’ll have two masters. All of them are in a different field: literature/linguistics – PR/communication – Marketing. Which means that… I have options. And like, a lot of them. Up until now, I’ve never seriously considered doing anything with books – I mean, I obviously still read them like the crazy book junkie that I am, make no mistake about that – but now that I’m thinking about the phrase “the rest of you life” I’m putting everything back on the table. Because, wow, I really don’t want to make the wrong decision? What if I decide to write a book and fail miserably? What if I become a marketing guru who never has time to write anymore? What if I go into PR and forget about books entirely??? It’s like… AAAAAAAAAAAAH! The freakin’ what-ifs are killing me! Well not physically killing me, but you can tell from reading that my brain is clearly under some duress ^^
So there. I’m scared shitless. I’m not afraid to admit it. And that’s also known as “irony”.
Meow. I don’t know what I’ll do yet. I’ve got a cool opportunity coming up next week, so who knows what’ll happen there. And if all else fails, my imagination is sure to lead me out of the place I so fondly refer to as the hole. For those of you who do not know what the hole is: it’s that place where you go when you feel like you’ve tried something and if it had worked, it would’ve been sheer brilliance and everyone around you would cheer and yell “Ohmigosh-that’s-so-awesomecakes!”. But sadly, whatever you wanted to do, it didn’t exactly pan out and now you’re wishing you could be invisible and it’s like you’re physically shrinking in size and… Theeere you go. You’re in the hole.
So yeah, I think if that were to happen, I’m sure I can spring for some rope with some bizarro thoughts in my head and off I go, climbing out and on to the next venture. But I just wanted to make sure everyone had a clear understanding of what the hole actually entails. I am, however, very sorry if the explanation was somewhat redundant or maybe even way too far-fetched, taking you into the coiling tangles of my brain, which has now completely freaked you out. I know I’m weird, and it ain’t easy being me. But there you have it.
Anyways, I’m just wondering how other people do this? I mean, really… Do this? Because everyone goes through this phase. Coming out of school and joining the workforce. Millions of people do it every year. And yet it doesn’t seem to be treated as the huge mile stone it is in someone’s life in the way that it should be. The first day of kindergarten. The first day of primary school. High school. College… But the transition into work life? Yeah, there’s no card for that. And definitely no rule book. Even though there’s a bunch of us going through it every year. I guess, if all else fails, there’s some strength in numbers, yes?