A new era: Relationships & social media.

Hi!

I got dumped through Facebook last night!

Yes, it’s rough. Yes, Facebook is probably not the best medium to use for such a delicate subject. But all rules go out the window where long distances are concerned. Especially for a relationship that became official through that same medium. And I’m actually not here to diss on the guy who dumped me. Honestly, I get it, there’s no blame game on my part and I’m gearing up to move on. So please don’t see this as me venting my anger, because there isn’t any. However, I can only remain in pyjamas for so long, watching Pride & Prejudice – the good one, with Colin Firth.

So why am I here? Well, isn’t it obvious? I am wondering about the effect of social media on relationships! Because this was sure new to me…

A few years ago – oh how I remember them well – there was no such thing as Snapchat, Tinder, Foursquare, Facebook, Skype… If you wanted to date someone, you had to physically see the person. Or you’d have to call them. Just sending an email or a phone text would be the worst ways to ever break up. Social standards dictated that you were not allowed to do that, otherwise the label of “dickhead” would ensue. Thankfully, technology has caught up and there are now far worse and impersonal ways to do it. Hurrah!

Or are they? Impersonal, I mean… Sure, when I say “I got dumped via Facebook last night” I can for sure count on loads of sympathy votes, which will take into account the medium of my break-up. But to tell you the truth, I’ve been using Facebook for so long for so many personal messages… I can’t say it’s totally horrible? I mean, of course I’m hurt. Duh. But it has nothing to do with the medium the message was sent through. I’m just hurt, because break-ups are hard. I haven’t really taken into account the part where it was sent through Facebook. Though I do get sympathy votes because of it… Strange, no?

It made me wonder. How far has social media gone in not only replacing means of conversation, but in changing norms that are acceptable to people? Whereas loads of people still prefer to make eye contact in a bar in order to “get lucky” that night, I personally have lots of friends who often check out Tinder and get their dates that way. I won’t say anything about the quality or meaningfulness of those dates, but as far as effectively reaching your purposes… It seems to do the trick.
Having experienced the whole “long distance thing” for a little while, I get it. I mean, it’s different, for sure. But I get it. And it hasn’t put me off. It’s not for everyone, I understand that. It’s just different.

However… Depending on your age and your comfort zone concerning social media, you will have a totally different view on it. Some will think it’s a dreadful medium. Whereas others still will think it’s the most normal thing in the world. And so I wonder. Are our norms and standards changing? Are we going into a new era where leaked naked pictures seem to be a dime a dozen? Or are people going to wise up and take a different, perhaps more careful approach to it?

Personally, I don’t mind social media. I didn’t exactly grow up with it – my Facebook account popped up around my 17th year – but I have grown used to having it around. I saw the decline of MSN Messenger happen firsthand and I don’t mourn its loss. But that’s because loads of others have taken its place. And I do use those. In many respects, they even make my life easier. Especially with me being an “expat”, it’s pretty wonderful to stay updated on my friends’ lives even while I’m away. Of course, if I hadn’t left, I could perhaps feel different. But I did move across that teensy bit of pond and I’m glad that I have all these different ways of staying in touch with my friends and family. A mere 20 years ago, such an endeavor as mine could make you disconnect from your home base quite quickly…

Anyways, I’m rambling. The way I always do. Especially when I’m feeling off, like I do today. But I find that those are the best days to write some craziness on this page. Because why write about the absolute tediousness of my existence when I just got dumped on Facebook, a much more interesting story to tell. Ha! Lol. It’s really not funny actually, but my brain is fried and I no longer care. Cynicism tends to do that with me. And I just felt it prudent to explain to the world that I don’t want to score pity points because of the “Facebook”-thing. Because I honestly don’t mind that part. So please, feel pity because I’m single once more, not in the way it happened. And then move on, because I’m determined to do the same.

Attention! To my awesome Belgian friends: I will be making a return on Friday the 10th of October! It’ll be a blitz-styled visit (the pond requires I cross it back again on Sunday), but I will do my best to try and see some of you! :-) Hope to see you then!

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frillicious

I never lose sight of the fact that just being is fun. - Katharine Hepburn

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